10 Things New Moms Need to Hear

Now that I have few years of this "mom thing" under my belt, I feel it's ok to share some things... I think sometimes we forget to be sensitive to the struggles people around us are going through. I struggled a LOT with new motherhood. A combination of new responsibilities, moving to a new state, health issues and lack of sleep made every day a challenge. Here are a few things that I desperately needed to hear in those early days, whether I not I verbalized it... and I think most moms would agree.

Back in those early days of motherhood... hard to believe now he was ever that little!

1. You look beautiful today.

All women need to hear this periodically, but especially stay at home moms that have young children. I mean, makeup? What's that? An actual hair style? Who are you kidding? Most days, it's the standard braid or ponytail... whatever gets your hair out of your face/your baby's chubby, moist grasp. But deep down, you don't want to be Frump Mom, you want someone to believe that you're still beautiful, even if you don't have the time (or let's face it - energy) to beautify. This is especially important for husbands to say to their wives. She NEEDS to know that even though she feels drained, even though she has crazy hair and may or may not have had time to shower today, even though she has stretch marks and a few extra pounds of baby weight still hanging on, you still think she's beautiful. Tell her!

2. How are you? And actually take time to listen to the response.

It's so easy to let children become the focal point of every conversation. When you see a friend (or even acquaintance), we often fall into the trap of asking about the kids only and neglect to ask, "How are YOU". Trust me, she needs to know that she's still a valuable person, not just "Mom".

And probably the most important part... actually listen to her response. How many times have you asked someone, "How are you", but didn't really want to hear an answer other than "Fine"? It's programmed in us as part of "being polite" to ask "How are you?", but think about it - do you really WANT to know how she's doing?  New Moms (especially the stay at home variety) are often discouraged, lonely, overwhelmed and need someone to truly listen and validate their feelings. You have the opportunity to be a blessing to this precious momma. Don't pass it up!

Reflection: Getting My Priorities Straight

I've been reading and studying through "Lies Women Believe (and the truth that sets them free)" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  You may remember me mentioning this in a previous post and yes... I'm still only halfway though the study.

Today's chapter focused on a lie that many women believe... in fact, many women I know personally have fallen into this trap:  believing that the title, "Wife" or "Mother" is somehow less important than career and looking down on those women that choose make the wife/mother role a priority.

Reflection: Do It Anyway

source: Microsoft Office

Ever had one of those sleepless nights?  You know, the kind where you can't get comfy, the bedroom's too hot and stuffy, you doze off just to wake up 15 minutes later?

Yeah... me too...  I had one of those this week. Yuck. I felt like a zombie the next day.  Somewhere around 3 a.m. I decided enough was enough and I got up to read for a while.

I'm glad I did.  I picked up at the beginning of chapter 17 in You Matter More Than You Think, by Leslie Parrott.  I've been working my way through it, but put it down a few weeks ago when things got really busy and hadn't gotten back to it... until my providential sleepless night.

Oooo... that sounded dramatic, didn't it?

Dating Your Spouse

The Hubby and me enjoying a picnic 
dinner at the beach

I realize 2 years of marriage does not make me an expert on relationships, but I know personally the power of dating your spouse. 

Let's face it. Life is rough. Life is demanding. On an average day, the average female has about 20 things going on all at once - more like 50 things going on at once if you have children.  I don't at this point, but between working full time and home responsibilities, not to mention taking a few classes... I'm pretty busy all the time.  Add the Hubby's grad classes and full time job to the mix and I wonder when we ever have time to see each other.

Many couples struggle with making their relationships work in the face of everyday stressors (like demanding jobs or a tight budget).  Add the constant time and energy drain of grad school and even fewer couples are keeping their relationships afloat.  If that's you, I feel your pain.  Been there! Am there!

Here's the good news... by making your relationship with your spouse a priority, you are investing in your future.

Commitment... And Everything That Goes With It

Photo Credit: Chicoine Photography & Design

Anniversaries inspire reflection for me.  I sit and reflect on the many blessings in my life and I think about how different my life would have been if I had not married M.  He is truly my perfect counterpart and I could not have asked for a better husband. 

Commitment is a common theme in books, videos and song lyrics - whether it's securing commitment, seeking commitment, or the breach of commitment - it's everywhere!